After hearing about her friend Sally's troubled marriage, Gertrude shared her dilemma with Brother Hadley who just happened to drop in and was eating some of Gertrude's beef stew with a banana in it for breakfast. He had just shared that he believed the problem to be an “in-law intrusion” problem which was related to not leaving his parents and cleaving to his wife. Brother Hadley continued...
“Unless this young man separates his relationship with his mother from his relationship with his wife, he is destined for a doomed marriage.” “Doomed marriage?” asked Gertrude with a little fear in her voice. “Yes ma'am.” Brother Hadley responded and kept sharing. “It happens all the time. People get married, violate the leave and cleave rule, never met or meet up to the in-laws expectations in the first place, are given more ammo to prove themselves right, nag the life out of the other spouse, and the other spouse gets so tired of it that he or she leaves. It's too much to ask anyone to tolerate.”
“So, that's why they fight all the time.” Gertrude looked away from Brother Hadley in a forlorn and thoughtful stare. “It could be.” Brother Hadley shared as Herkamer began to examine quietly to himself whether he had shared things about Gertrude that were not good with his parents. “This is the normal way it works: a spouse comes home after the wedding, and doesn't do or say something exactly like the other thought he or she should. It's upsetting, so who is the first person that most people go to when their upset?” Gertrude answered, “Mother”. “Exactly” continued Brother Hadley. “Then this suspicious and fearful in-law begins to take it out on the “victimizing” spouse, and eventually, it's over”
“So,” responded Gertrude, “the best policy would be to never share anything bad about your spouse with your mom or dad, or any in-law for that matter.” “Exactly” stated Brother Hadley. “You see, a spouse usually forgives, but in-laws generally hold it as a grudge.”
Brother Hadley scooped his last bite of the stew which consisted of a carrot and the final piece of banana. He stood to his feet and said, “Why thank you for that breakfast Gertrude” as he shook Herkamer's hand. “You two have such a perfect marriage, and I am so proud of you. Hope everything works out for your friend.” Without another word Brother Hadley walked out the front door and waved as he left.
Herkamer looked at Gertrude and said in a puzzled voice, “He is the most mysterious man.” “But he sure is wise.” Gertrude added as she shook her head and put Brother Hadley's bowl in the kitchen sink. “I think I'll call Sally,” Gertrude said softly, “And I think I'll call my mother.” said Herkamer with a teasing smile. Gertrude began to chase him around the house with a dishtowel laughing as she ran.
Stay tuned for more Herkamer and Gertrude stories in the future. Same blog time. Same blog spot. Until tomorrow...Why Say More?
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