Gertrude was troubled about her friend Sally's marriage. Since Sally's husband would tell his mother everything about their marriage, Sally was deeply distressed. After Sally and Gertrude ended their morning walk, Gertrude was about to tell her husband Herkamer about Sally when Brother Hadley drove into their driveway. After inviting himself in for a bite of stew and cutting a banana into the stew to eat, Gertrude began to tell Brother Hadley Sally's problem.
“Brother Hadley,” Gertrude started while Herkamer listened closely, “My friend Sally is having trouble in her marriage.” “Oh?” said Brother Hadley who was listening nonchalantly as he took another bite of banana and carrots. “Yes.” Gertrude continued, “She said that everything that she and her husband do becomes her husband's conversation with his mother. He tells his mother everything.” Brother Hadley stopped his spoon for a moment and looked deeply into Gertrude's eyes as she spoke. “Sally says that she cannot even go to the bathroom without his mother knowing about it.” Brother Hadley rubbed his chin and asked, “This really has you upset, Gerty, doesn't it?” Gertrude nodded and Herkamer began to rub Gertrude's back as she spoke.
Brother Hadley sat back in his chair, thought for a moment, and said, “Yep. This is the old In-law intrusion problem.” “In-law intrusion problem?” questioned Herkamer and Gertrude at the same time. Brother Hadley nodded and continued, “Yep. It's where the strings were never really cut when the couple became married. People never learn to “leave” and “cleave” after they get married. They are still so close or so controlled by their parents that they never leave that comfort.” Gertrude listened closely as Brother Hadley explained, and Herkamer just continued to rub Gertrude's back.
“So, you think the trouble is that Sally's husband has never really left his mother?” Gertrude asked. Brother Hadley nodded again and took another big bite of stew which included beef with the banana this time. “This boy's mother nursed him, wiped him, taught him, cared for him for years of his life, and along came this young new Sally into his world. In just a few short months or years, he had given his life to her and not his mother,” Brother Hadley continued, “and then after they were married...”
Stay tuned tomorrow for more of the story. Same blog time. Same blog place. Until tomorrow...Why Say More?
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