Yesterday Herkamer was busy early on a Saturday morning fulfilling a list of chores that his lovely wife Gertrude provided for him by waking him with loud pots and pans. His first chore was mowing the grass, and after mowing for less than five minutes he ran out of fuel. He was on his way to the gas station when he was pulled over by an officer for speeding. It was only when the officer asked Herkamer for his drivers license and registration that he remembered his wallet was home, and now he could only find a two year old registration for his car.
“Uh, officer”, Herkamer began sheepishly, “It seems that I have forgotten my wallet, and this is the only registration I have. You see, my wife...” The officer interrupted his excuse abruptly by saying, “Sir, I don't want to hear about your wife. I need to see your license and registration.” Herkamer handed the registration to theabrupt policeman, and although he was very perturbed within, he smiled, said yes sir over and over again. The officer responded, “Sir, could you step out of the car?” “Step out of the car?” Herkamer questioned. “Why?” “Sir, step out of the car now!” the officer demanded.
Herkamer sighed, and slowly opened his door. He mumbled, “You don't have to get all huffy about it. You sound just like my wi...” The officer interrupted his mumbling, and said, “Sir, turn around and spread your hands and feet on the car”. Herkamer slowly turned but was growing more and more angry by the moment. All he could think about was how it was only seven-thirty in the morning, and he should be sleeping, but because of “The List” he is now being patted down by a policeman who is in a very grumpy mood.
The End
(Sorry, had to do that. It's April Fools day you know.)
The officer patted down Herkamer, told him to stay in place, and began writing a ticket. “Sir, is this your current address?” “Yes sir, officer” Herkamer replied as his hands and knees began to ache from the awkward position. The officer wrote; and wrote; and wrote some more. The ten minutes of writing seemed like four hours, but finally the officer stopped writing his novel-like ticket, turned to Herkamer and said, “Sir, I'm citing you for speeding, driving without a license, failure to provide a current registration, improper lane changing, a broken taillight, and halitosis. You're breath stinks! But I'm letting you slide on your attitude.” He continued, “Do you have your insurance card with you?” Herkamer grimaced, wrinkled his face in embarrassment, and sheepishly said, “No sir”. The officer began writing again, and murmured, “That will be another violation that will only cost you an additional two hundred and thirty dollars...”
Stay tuned for more of the story tomorrow. Same blog time. Same blog page. Until tomorrow...Why Say more?
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